Friday, May 29, 2009

The Winds of Change....They Are A'Blowin'

Those of you that read my blog know that I am a legal secretary, and that I work for a very "needy" type of attorney! On MOST days he makes me absolutely INSANE!! Then there are days when he is a dear! I told him one day we are like an unhappily married couple. We can just fuss and fuss at each other and then we are fine!

Well, I have threatened for months and months to look for another job. I have kept my eyes peeled for one, haven't seen anything I would be interested in and then....a friend called to tell me that he had heard that there was an attorney in town looking for a secretary.

I pondered it for a few minutes and thought well, I'll just call and check it out. Well, they set up an appointment for me to come in on Wednesday. I went, I interviewed, I left.

Thursday, another call, come back in. I went, I sat, we chatted, I got the job!! Now, I really never thought I would get it!! I mean, he has been interviewing for 2 weeks! I just thought I would go "see" about it! The pay is a little more, the stress level, WAY less!

I AM FREAKED OUT!!!! I do not know what to do!!!!! I mean TOTALLY FREAKED OUT!!!

I feel like I have had an affair or something. Like I have betrayed a trust, a friendship!! My boss walked in the office today and I just went to the bathroom and cried!! I am SICK!

I am an extremely loyal a fault!! I mean, I told one of my coworkers today "I know he is an ass, but he is my ass"!! I have gone back and forth since yesterday!! I didn't sleep last night!! It feels like I am going to ask for a divorce!!

My sweetie pie Steve does not get it! He has heard me rant and rave and fuss and cuss for 3 years and here I am lamenting over whether or not to go!!

The FEAR of the unknown! I am OLD! Do I want to start over again in another office, new coworkers, new personalities, new rules????? I honestly don't know!

Our office here is really laid back! you need to go to the doctor, you go. Run to the bank, do it. A few minutes late from lunch, no problem. Do I want to give that up? Do I?

Dear Lord someone tell me what to do!!! THEN on the other hand, I feel like I am letting this attorney down that has offered me this job. I go and interview and get it and then, turn him down? That just seems rude! I am awful ~

I need therapy...


  1. I understand your problem, I have been there. I have been offered many jobs...back in that day. Back when I was actually working in my field (interior design) I never took any of them because I was "happy" where I was...well then "happy" got laid off and hasn't been able to find a job since then...SO TAKE THE JOB. You never know, your boss may fire you next month. I would take it. I know that it must be EXTREMELY hard working for an attorney, my brother is one (in Montgomery). At first as I was reading this post I thought "I hope she doens't work for him"...LOL! Who cares if you did, because I am sure his secretary feels the same. He did however get boss of the year at some law convention thing...which blew my funny. Maybe he is really good to work for! Well let us know what you decide. My opinion is to take it.

  2. I think you should sit down with pen and paper and make a list of pros and cons for jobs, see which comes out ahead. It may surprise you to find that you may actually want to stay put as opposed to going into the unknown. Better the bird in hand vs two in the bush because there are ALWAYS tradeoffs!
    Make the list; it might surprise you!
    And good luck with your decision; whatever it is, stick with it.

  3. I am just like you. Too loyal sometimes for my own good. But times are a changing...if I were you, I would probably take the job because of the better pay and also being less stressful. I have found out recently how stress can really put a strain on your health. Without your health you cannot work. Pray about it.

  4. Change is just so hard. The other girls have given you such good advice..I don't have anything new to add. It seems odd to me that you boss went in the bathroom and cried. He sound pretty moody. That's a tough one because he's probably extremely nice when it suits him too. I can't wait to see what you decide.

    I can tell it's hard on you. Yikes!

  5. Lou Cinda, what a predicament! I know we have all been there from time to time. I would encourage what "Gaston studio" said - list pros and cons. Also, stress is an important consideration, as is freedom to come and go when needed. I am loyal to the end, myself, so I can identify. I even wonder about you telling current employer the things you appreciate about the current job, and share that you have been offered another position. Who knows, he may meet or exceed the offer. Pray, pray, pray, and see how God leads. Keep your blogging friends posted!Linda

  6. Lou Cinda I just read your post to my husband who is "the boss". He said, "more money, less stress - it's a win win." Hmmm. Of course that's a man's point of view and they usually make decisions without all the emotion that we girls feel.


  7. i saw a quote on PBS last night and it really rang true to me-it went something like this-give up the dream you think you want, give up the fear that makes you clutch and decide to begin living a new you and that new life will unfold. The actual quote was much better-but what I took away from it is to be true to yourself and your heart and gut will guide you. If those two are aligned-you have made the right decision.

  8. I felt the exact same way when I left my last job. Telling my old boss I was leaving was extremely hard. I fretted, cried, prayed for days about leaving. But in the end, the offer was just too good to pass up. It was a good decision and I just believe that God put put this particular job in my life when I needed it.

    You will make the right decision, I just know it!


    Robin :o)

  9. Here by way of Alabama Bloggers. Your stress over giving your notice SHOWS that you are loyal. If things have been rough between you and your employer, I am sure he will understand your need for a change. Best of luck!

  10. Lou Cinda, you sound so much like me it isn't even funny! I have always taken pride in getting along with difficult people, and I understand your sense of loyalty. I am loyal to a fault.

    Do you feel like the work environment at the other place would be better? I think you ought to take out four sheets of paper. Write the pros for each job on separate sheets. Write the cons for each job on separate sheets. Don't number, just write. Then after you have come up with every pro and every con (and have your husband add to this), then see which has the most pros and the most cons. Weigh the advantages of a laid back environment to the stress from the other job. You will be great at either. Are you going to miss the challenge of dealing with your current boss? Or do you prefer to deal with someone who is more even keel? Ask yourself the hard questions.

    Pray about it and ask the Lord to give you peace about your decision. If you decide to leave, there will be some cognigive dissonance over it because of your loyalty, but do you want to stay just to avoid that dissonance??? Those are the types of questions you need to ask yourself and weigh the pros and cons.

    Whatever you do, they will be blessed to have you!


    Sheila :-)

  11. And one more thing... this may sound weird, but aak yourself if you really enjoy the challenge of dealing with a difficult boss. Is that a pro or a con? And do you know that this other man really is a pussy cat? You seem to be a person who has a good intuition about people, and I think you will make the right decision. :-)

  12. You don't need therapy Lou for being a loyal and compassionate person. I suspect you would fit in perfectly anywhere. I do like the making lists idea, but somehow I get the feeling that you really want to stay where you are but are afraid that you will regret your decision down the road. The potential boss will surely understand that an offer is just that. To be taken or not. I agree with Mrs. Magpie. I suspect that you enjoy the challenge of working for your difficult guy. I know you will make whatever decision is the right one for you, because you are just smart that way.

  13. Good luck, Lou Cinda. I'm sure you'll make the best decision. Let us know.


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