Wednesday, December 23, 2009

I WANT TO BE A MAN IN MY NEXT LIFE!!

After much consideration....I have decided that in my next life (metaphorically speaking of course) I would like to be a man!  In my experiences.....the man.....has it made!!


Case in Point.....


I have been decorating, shopping, cleaning, wrapping, cooking, not to mention, I work full time, for three weeks now! 


Sweet husband Steve?  Not so much....


THEN...yesterday he tells me that Thursday morning....Yeah, Christmas Eve morning....he is going hunting for a "few hours".  Okaaaay....we are supposed to be at his parents house at 3:30.


I ask him....Are you done with your shopping?  Meaning MY GIFTS!!!  Because, seriously, that is ALL HE HAS TO BUY ON HIS OWN!!!  And he looks at me with that "deer caught in the headlights" look.  Well, he says, I have a couple more to get!  Well, he better get to gettin' is all I have to say!!!


Deer Hunting!!!  WHAT!!


He has already killed a deer this year.  That should be enough right??  Noooooooooo, that just fuels the fire!  I can't even look at them when he kills them....breaks my heart!


I was decorating the outside of the house a few weeks ago when he called all excited to tell me he had "gotten" a deer.  It was a doe.....sniff, sniff.  Good, I say.  Wonderful.....rah!  He pulls up in the driveway with said "kill" and I turn to look (as I am hanging garland and greenery and wreaths and such) and behind him pull up about 4 cars filled with Cameron whom he had also called to tell of the "kill".  Cameron and about 8 of his friends stream in behind him for the "viewing", if you will.  I don't look...  They go to the back yard and I continue my decorating.  I put a bow and greenery on my gas lantern at the top of my driveway...and when I step back to admire my handiwork my foot rolls over and down I go like the proverbial tree!  My ankle is killing me and I am laying there all splayed out in the driveway in pain thinking, "I hope no one saw me."  I yell out for Cameron or Steve cos' I seriously can't get up....nothing...they don't hear me......so I am trying to just shake it off....and I hear an all too familiar voice ~ It's the little lady next door who gets mad when I put my sticks at the end of my OWN driveway.  It is behind her house, where she puts her sticks IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE!


I sit up and look at her with pine straw all in my hair and on my clothes and she says "I don't like it when you put your sticks right there."  And she points to the end of MY driveway.....and I say, sweetly, "Well, Winnie, your just gonna have to get over it!  Cos' that's where they are going to go!  She huffs off!  I yell after her "MERRY CHRISTMAS"!


I struggle to get up and hobble to the house and look out the back where Steve and his posse are busy desecrating Bambi!  I quickly turn away and think, Lord I hope the neighbor kids don't see that.  A flippin reindeer hanging upside down in my back yard!!


So...sure, honey, you go on hunting....really....no worries....I will take care if everything, I mean, after all.....I HAVE BEEN DOING IT ALL MONTH, WHAT IS ONE MORE DAY!


All I have to say is....come Christmas morning....if there ain't a Canon camera under that tree for yours truly, from sweet husband Steve....


There is going to be HELL to pay!


MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!

24 comments:

  1. Lou Cinda,
    I feel your pain. I just got finished spending 2 hours wrapping Christmas gifts this morning while my husband played on his facebook account on his iphone! He doesn't hunt but there's no helping in the "getting ready for Christmas" department at any time during the holidays.
    I hope you find that camera under the tree for Christmas..you deserve it.
    Have a happy holiday!!
    Jane

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  2. OMG! You haven't even lost your sense of humor!
    I'm impressed! I sure hope that man of yours comes up with some awesome Christmas presents for you.

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  3. Oh girl, I know just what you mean! Just this morning, I folded and put away two huge load of towels, hung up clothes, cleaned the kitchen, unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, and picked up anything that was out of place all while husband was still asleep. I finished with everything, sat down, and turned the TV on Food Network. Well, 15 minutes after I'd started watching TV, he finally wakes up. I graciously go into the kitchen to fix him breakfast. When I take it to him, he has turned my TV and is watching some war movie. He asks, "You weren't really watching that, were you?" GRRR! Now, he's all stretched out in the recliner still watching TV with his dirty dishes piled next to his chair...they have it so easy, don't they!

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  4. Oh my gosh, thank you so much for this wonderful belly laugh. I'm gonna get my husband in here and read this.

    Now let me tell you something. My husband considers himself the "great white hunter" too. Elk, deer, blah blah blah...none of which I eat. Well have you ever read my posts about my husband losing his vision? He is and although it's a huge loss, I don't miss the hunting. He really does..actually it hurts him deep down in his soul not to hunt. Now he just camps and fishes with his buddies.

    Merry Christmas sweet friend! I'm cheering you on!

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  5. Stacey again..

    Did my message come through loud and clear? I don't miss the hunting!

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  6. I am still laughing! When is that lady going to give it up about the sticks?

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  7. What the H#** is wrong with this Winnie broad,anyway? It's your driveway! Can she see them from her house? I would have said a lot more to this old biddy and she probably would be ready to deck me! LOL
    Mr. S just gets me the frou frou stuff... I buy what I want and it's done for. He offered to pick out my new camera- I said he can go with me when I select it after Xmas if he wants to. If he went out on his own, he'd probably come home with the $300 camera while I'm getting the one that's $900.
    Have a very happy holiday, Lou Cinda. And if your camera isn't there, go out and get one yourself- then thank him later. *grin*

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  8. I am laughing hysterically...I can so relate to some of the things you note. My husband does not hunt, thank goodness. He used to when we first married, but he had an accident that injured his leg and his foot is very sensitive to cold...so no more hunting. I can relate to the amount of work we (the fairer sex) have to do for holidays, parties etc...while the men take naps etc. My husband is really great about helping, but really, if you wash the dishes for me once that does not mean we shared the load equally...not even close. Hope you have lots of presents...Merry Christmas

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  9. Merry Christmas to you Linda :)
    I am laughing :) My man is like yours and i understand you pain.

    Hugs Wilhelmiina

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  10. LOL! If he messes up and doesn't get you what you want, I will go shopping after Christmas and get you a surprise! :-)

    Merry! Merry!

    XO,

    Sheila :-)

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  11. I am impressed that yours will end after Christmas....Mine keeps going and going and going lol
    Happy Holidays
    Julie

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  12. This post is just too FUNNY...we have a rule at OUR house NO hunting on a holiday...I took care of that before I said I do! I sure hope you get the new camera...I want one too...but I didn't ask for it...maybe I will ask for it for the b'day next month. Merry Christmas Lou Cinda!

    Blessings,
    Linda

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  13. LOL! Well I'm sure you don't find it funny but it was a funny read. My poor husband is in retail so he's been working six days a week most them out of town (so he has to deal with the airport).

    Manuela

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  14. I'm still laughing at your post. I remember those days from my childhood. Women cooked the holiday meal and the men hunted. I believe it was rabbit huntin' at Christmas time. That was many years ago.

    Hope Santa brings you a camera!

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  15. I think this needs to be a movie, because I can see it all in my head! Hope you're OK. I know just how you feel, the only better thing is that my husband won't kill a doe, and what he does "get" gets "dressed" on site at his family's deer "camp". oh these boys I'm believeing you BETTER get your camera. Be sure and let us know. I'm rootin' for ya!
    Have a wonderful Christmas!
    Debra

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  16. Ah yes. I often wish for a wife. I so need one.

    I bought my own gifts and wrapped them too. He can't say ONE WORD about $100 for a sweater. :)

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  17. I'm giggling...
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    I'm trying to gather my thoughts here but it's hard...
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    Let me start by saying...
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    Lou Cinda...
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    giggle giggle...
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    sorry to laugh but...
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    this has got to be...
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    THE FUNNIEST POST I'VE EVER READ!

    Seriously girl...you are so hilarious and yet I'm really scared of you at the same time! I'll add Steve to my prayer list as he better have a Canon under the tree for you...or else I'm fearing he'll have the same fate as the reindeer!
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    I'm still giggling!!!!
    Thank you for the laugh and sorry to hear of your fall...hope you feel better. I'm sure you do since I'm sure it felt good to tell Ms. Winnie to finally GET OVER IT!
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    This was the best!
    Merry Christmas Lou Cinda, you are a SUPER WOMAN! You are MY mentor!!!!

    ;)
    everything vintage

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  18. Girl.. you are just toooo funny. I sat here laughing out loud, the cocker spaniel moved, looked at me funny and went on about her busines.. I'm telling you men.... should just have to sit in a corner and do some "major" time out at times... I sure hope he comes through in a BIG way for you....From our home to yours a Very Merry Christmas..hugs ~lynne~

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  19. This was too funny! I can't believe that I am still up blogging at 2:30 in the morning! Wow! It's already Christmas! I hope that you get your camera! You deserve it!

    Merry Christmas,
    Lee Laurie

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  20. I am waiting to hear.....was there a camera?
    I always say to my husband...why do I sign the cards and tags with both our names...cuz you didn't have anything to do with it???
    Truly, it is a guy thing!

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  21. This was falling on the floor laughing out loud funny, Lou Cinda!!! You got it down. That Winnie needs a serious talking to, though I doubt it would help. She sounds like a real winner.

    I have to say my husband is the opposite of most. He is a CONTROL freak. Everything I buy is incidental to the BIG things he buys. And he controls the purse strings so I have to shop around his money giving schedule, which means just days before Christmas...Yes, it is a guys world.

    Great post!!

    xoxo
    Janie

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  22. Hahaha...reading this is just like listening to my sister talk about her husband and their boys! Very funny!

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  23. OK, that's it....Steve and Marty are brothers! Sounds just like my little "hunny bunny"...GRRRR! LOL

    {{{HUGS}}}

    Robin :o)

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  24. A bit late, but I found your blog via another and another, etc and I LOVE reading your posts! After the day I've had, I needed this laugh. I, too, feel your pain, girl! When my girls were young, I bought my own gifts, wrapped them and on Christmas I would exclaim with delight--"Oh, Hon, how did you know I wanted that?!" He'd look at me with a "duh!" look every time. For the last few years, my dh has given my girls the money to shop for me. This year he didn't do that---thought he'd do the right thing and shop for me. I so wish he had had the girls do it. Yes, he tried, but unfortunately, he failed. Big Time! I pretended I like what he got, but it was just junk! And my stocking was filled with magazines that I've already read along with candy that I can't eat (dieting), hand warmers and some other weird things I can't think of right now. MEN! Grrrrrr. I am still exhausted from the month long prep while he just sat back watching me do all the work and then he tells me how tired HE is!
    MEN!!! Grrrrrrr! Did I already say that?!

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