I WANT TO BE A MAN IN MY NEXT LIFE!!

After much consideration....I have decided that in my next life (metaphorically speaking of course) I would like to be a man!  In my experiences.....the man.....has it made!!


Case in Point.....


I have been decorating, shopping, cleaning, wrapping, cooking, not to mention, I work full time, for three weeks now! 


Sweet husband Steve?  Not so much....


THEN...yesterday he tells me that Thursday morning....Yeah, Christmas Eve morning....he is going hunting for a "few hours".  Okaaaay....we are supposed to be at his parents house at 3:30.


I ask him....Are you done with your shopping?  Meaning MY GIFTS!!!  Because, seriously, that is ALL HE HAS TO BUY ON HIS OWN!!!  And he looks at me with that "deer caught in the headlights" look.  Well, he says, I have a couple more to get!  Well, he better get to gettin' is all I have to say!!!


Deer Hunting!!!  WHAT!!


He has already killed a deer this year.  That should be enough right??  Noooooooooo, that just fuels the fire!  I can't even look at them when he kills them....breaks my heart!


I was decorating the outside of the house a few weeks ago when he called all excited to tell me he had "gotten" a deer.  It was a doe.....sniff, sniff.  Good, I say.  Wonderful.....rah!  He pulls up in the driveway with said "kill" and I turn to look (as I am hanging garland and greenery and wreaths and such) and behind him pull up about 4 cars filled with Cameron whom he had also called to tell of the "kill".  Cameron and about 8 of his friends stream in behind him for the "viewing", if you will.  I don't look...  They go to the back yard and I continue my decorating.  I put a bow and greenery on my gas lantern at the top of my driveway...and when I step back to admire my handiwork my foot rolls over and down I go like the proverbial tree!  My ankle is killing me and I am laying there all splayed out in the driveway in pain thinking, "I hope no one saw me."  I yell out for Cameron or Steve cos' I seriously can't get up....nothing...they don't hear me......so I am trying to just shake it off....and I hear an all too familiar voice ~ It's the little lady next door who gets mad when I put my sticks at the end of my OWN driveway.  It is behind her house, where she puts her sticks IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE!


I sit up and look at her with pine straw all in my hair and on my clothes and she says "I don't like it when you put your sticks right there."  And she points to the end of MY driveway.....and I say, sweetly, "Well, Winnie, your just gonna have to get over it!  Cos' that's where they are going to go!  She huffs off!  I yell after her "MERRY CHRISTMAS"!


I struggle to get up and hobble to the house and look out the back where Steve and his posse are busy desecrating Bambi!  I quickly turn away and think, Lord I hope the neighbor kids don't see that.  A flippin reindeer hanging upside down in my back yard!!


So...sure, honey, you go on hunting....really....no worries....I will take care if everything, I mean, after all.....I HAVE BEEN DOING IT ALL MONTH, WHAT IS ONE MORE DAY!


All I have to say is....come Christmas morning....if there ain't a Canon camera under that tree for yours truly, from sweet husband Steve....


There is going to be HELL to pay!


MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!