Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Do I Still Have GIANT Grasshoppers?

I have had several inquiries as to whether or not the GIANT GRASSHOPPERS are still in residence in my yard....The answer is YES!!!! They are still here!!!! They are disgusting and HUGE and they are still loping around the yard and sitting in bushes and monkey grass, waiting on their opportunity to pounce on me!

Case in point....

Steve had hurt his lower back at work on Friday :( So he was moving a little slowly when he got home. I decided to be "helpful" and mow the grass for him. So I go and hop on the lawnmower and start tooling around the yard....mowing. On the side of our house we have these bushes of some sort with long fronds that gracefully arch out into the yard. They are so pretty. I was mowing up that side and I was getting real close to that bed and I look up........there heading right for my face was one of those BIG GIGANTIC GRASSHOPPERS perched on the end of one of those "fronds"! I, of course, start screaming like a banshee and flailing my arms around, I thought I was going to hyperventilate!

Poor Steve....poor, poor Steve.....God Bless that man! He hears me (of course, I am loud) He comes "hobbling" out there, I am sure expecting to see me chopped into little pieces, because surely, all of that screaming meant I had been seriously injured....I must have fallen off the lawnmower, or a huge tree limb must have fallen on me. Maybe I was hit by a wayward car...

Nope! Damn grasshoppers!

He looks at me with my hair all standing up all over my head where I had been running my hands through it to make sure "nothing" was in it, and then he walks over, finds the grasshopper and kills it. I say..."I am scared of those things...." He replies..."I know"

So he hobbles up and down the side of the house there and kills about NINE (9) of those little hummers. I have one more episode, on the other side of the yard, same situation, different grasshopper. Guess what? Exterminator Steve did not come.. :( He says he didn't hear me....(yeah right!)

I think I may on my own out here people! There's a NEW Sheriff in town!

I'm doomed...


  1. Ohhh Nelly! I hate grasshoppers, but they are good luck, and I think size you are bound for lots and lots of luck. :)

  2. I'm still waiting on pictures of those grasshoppers. Are they the black ones with yellow stripes?

  3. They lope around in your yard? Oh my goodness!! I've seen them like that before and they are nasty!! I feel for ya.

  4. Okay. I scrolled down and saw the pictures. You posted them when I had all the kids visiting, so I missed them. Yep, those are the ones I was thinking they were. Ugh!

  5. OMG!!!!!!!!! Too funny! Poor Steve...he is a good man!!! A have a male friend who is terrified of lizards! TERRIFIED! He keeps cans of bug spray at every door of their house, and he has to inspect each door before he will go in! Before he goes out he does the same thing. If he sees one in the house he will LEAVE the house until his wife kills it.....ridiculous!

  6. You have a wonderful man too. I am thinking that we need a little exposure therapy here. Get Steve to put one in a jar and just look at it. See if you develop any warm fuzzy feelings for it. Look how pretty it is. Not working? Okay, scream away. I am with you. Have a look at my little friend today who wanted to jump down my bathing suit.

  7. Yikes! My hubby grounded me from cutting the grass because he said I whined too much about it.

    I do not like jumping bugs. Not even from a distance!

  8. Girl, you need to get some sort of Grasshopper killer-thingie so you can protect yourself! LOL!
    I can just see you screaming your head off! Poor Hubby! LOL!


    Robin :o)

  9. I say harness 'em up to the front of the mower and let them pull it around!

  10. Oh my words I can just see it now. I'm the same way. You know the locust.. ew... they drive me mad. When you have a migraine the last freekin thing you want to hear is a cricket in your house or a locust outside your fleeping window at night. Oy.

  11. I "rambled" over here from Sue's blog. She's got giant frogs; you've got grasshoppers--oh my :) I thought it was bad when I had a cricket in the bathroom. Guess, I'll reconsider :)

  12. Did I tell you already that when I was a little girl that my brother would put those things on me or throw them at me!? I hated them! We called them Andigo-eaters. I don't know why. I guess that they ate Andigos...whatever that is!? LOL

  13. Dang! I so wanted to get to Gadsden and go to the yard sales. But, it doesn't look like i am going to make it. Buy good stuff!

  14. Thank you for not posting any photos of these again Lou Cinda! ;)
    I can imagine your terror...I'd still be in a coma.
    everything vintage


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