Do I Still Have GIANT Grasshoppers?

I have had several inquiries as to whether or not the GIANT GRASSHOPPERS are still in residence in my yard....The answer is YES!!!! They are still here!!!! They are disgusting and HUGE and they are still loping around the yard and sitting in bushes and monkey grass, waiting on their opportunity to pounce on me!

Case in point....

Steve had hurt his lower back at work on Friday :( So he was moving a little slowly when he got home. I decided to be "helpful" and mow the grass for him. So I go and hop on the lawnmower and start tooling around the yard....mowing. On the side of our house we have these bushes of some sort with long fronds that gracefully arch out into the yard. They are so pretty. I was mowing up that side and I was getting real close to that bed and I look up........there heading right for my face was one of those BIG GIGANTIC GRASSHOPPERS perched on the end of one of those "fronds"! I, of course, start screaming like a banshee and flailing my arms around, I thought I was going to hyperventilate!

Poor Steve....poor, poor Steve.....God Bless that man! He hears me (of course, I am loud) He comes "hobbling" out there, I am sure expecting to see me chopped into little pieces, because surely, all of that screaming meant I had been seriously injured....I must have fallen off the lawnmower, or a huge tree limb must have fallen on me. Maybe I was hit by a wayward car...

Nope! Damn grasshoppers!

He looks at me with my hair all standing up all over my head where I had been running my hands through it to make sure "nothing" was in it, and then he walks over, finds the grasshopper and kills it. I say..."I am scared of those things...." He replies..."I know"

So he hobbles up and down the side of the house there and kills about NINE (9) of those little hummers. I have one more episode, on the other side of the yard, same situation, different grasshopper. Guess what? Exterminator Steve did not come.. :( He says he didn't hear me....(yeah right!)

I think I may on my own out here people! There's a NEW Sheriff in town!

I'm doomed...