Tuesday, July 14, 2009

AND SO THE STORY GOES...

I am one of those people that tries to never take anything for granted. I have learned this the hard way, unfortunately. I lost both of my parents at relatively young ages, my daddy was 62 and my mother was 65. This has been such a tremendous loss in my life and not a single day goes by that I don't yearn for both of them.

My daddy used to tell me I was "Resilient"! I loved that! I am fortunate to be a very upbeat and cheerful person and that, along with my resilience and unwavering faith have led me through some pretty dark times.

I have mentioned on here that I have been married three times. Yes, three. If someone would have asked me how many times I thought I would be married when I was younger, never in a million years would I have thought I would be twice divorced. The first one, not too too traumatic. In fact, I still run into that ex occasionally, and we hug and chat. He was unfaithful...I found out....divorced him...moved on. I was young.

Second time...a frigging nightmare!! 16 years of hell, except for the two beautiful and wonderful boys that I now have. I tried to hang in there, because I did not want to be divorced again. I felt that I had taken vows and needed to stay. One day I went and talked to my pastor who was well aware, probably more so that me at that time, of the things that the demonseed I was married to was doing. He took my hands, looked me square in the eye and said, "Lou Cinda, get out of this marriage." Pretty powerful! It was the boot I needed so I did it!

It was not easy, the ex made it as difficult as possible for me and my precious boys. He broke in our house when I was at work and the kids at school. He did not have a job, so he would come by the house after I had left for work and before Cameron's ride picked him up for school, and he would ask my baby Cammie Pie for his lunch money. And he would, of course, give it to him, and go to school and not eat. I did not know this for quite a while and when Cameron finally told me, I was devastated beyond belief! That husband was verbally and physically abusive off and on for 16 years. When I was done, I was DONE! There was no going back, no giving it another try. It was OVER! He does not see our boys, and I am glad. He is not a good role model for them, actually, he is not a good anything. Never paid child support, I did it on my own. It wasn't easy, but we survived.

I said I would never marry again. I had bad taste in men, poor judge of character! NO WAY! The months went by and a friend called and told me she wanted me to meet someone! A BLIND DATE!! You have GOT to be kidding me! I am 45 years old! Not gonna do it! She convinced me that I should go, that he was a nice guy. Yeah, right! I consented, BUT I told her I would meet him somewhere, and only if she and her husband went, which is what we did.

That blind date was my precious, kind, beloved, adorable Steve. The first second I laid eyes on him something deep in my soul said, "this is the one." I think it was God. I think he led me to Steve, he knew Seth and Cameron and I deserved him. He knew we needed him. He knew he would take care of us. Steve lived and worked in another town about 40 miles from me and he had no children of his own. He drove back and forth to my house from his every night!

Now, I am the wide open, fly by the seat of my pants, "high strung" type, and that is probably sugar coating it! Steve is stable, quiet, laid back, gentle, kind and has the purest heart...

The poor man did not know what hit him! From that night on we were inseparable and 7 months later we were married! He moved here, we sold my house, sold his house and bought "our" house, which we love. He commutes to work everyday, about 40 minutes one way. Just celebrated our 4th anniversary and I have never been happier. He took my boys on as his own, bought them cars when they turned 16, changes their oil, fixes stuff when it breaks and "we" are getting Seth through college. It is not easy being a step parent and I do know this. We have had our moments, because I tend to be more in the "gray" area and Steve is a little more black and white. Either it is this or this, no in between. I'm big on in between! lol I love it that he still seems so happy to see me when he comes home in the afternoon! His face just lights up when he walks in the door. And my heart just skips a beat every time I look at him.

Sometimes you have to walk through the fire to learn that each day is a gift and that nothing is guaranteed! Tell those you love that you love them....often...daily!

Sometimes you walk through that fire so that when that one perfect for you person walks into your life you appreciate them!

Sometimes you walk through that fire so that when the wounds heal and you are left with the scars, you realize a wisdom and an inner strength that you didn't know you had.

Sometimes you walk through that fire, because it is the only way out...

23 comments:

  1. How wonderful! Third times a charm

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  2. So happy for you. I think you could have written the Bible study on Shadrach, Meshach and Abednigo (don't ask me if I spelled those right) in the furnace. Great testimonial.

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  3. Beautiful post. The good thing is that while there may be scars, your heart wasn't so that you were able to accept the gift God brought to you! I love the last line...it sums up life for all of us. I also love your pastor for providing the answer you needed at the time. No condemnation only truth! I truly believe there are only three reasons for divorce...I call them the three A's....Addiction, Adultery and Abuse. Girl, you faced down all three, but as you say, it was all in preparation for the light of your life. Thank you for sharing such a personal story.
    Debbie

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  4. Beautiful post Lou Cinda!!!
    Everyone deserves somebody special to share life with...I'm so happy your Pastor opened the gate to your new path.
    (and I love "happily ever afters")
    everything vintage

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  5. I think Steve knows exactly "what hit him" --- someone wonderful, who brought energy, excitement, joy, and love into his life!

    It sounds to me as if you two are the perfect blend of opposites. I know being opposites CAN create trouble, but with the right pairing, it can lead to balance and (enough, if not total) harmony.

    Isn't there a saying about adding enough spice to the sugar to keep things interesting?

    Bye for now,
    bill

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  6. Lou Cinda, You have shared so much with us and I wish you only the best of happiness in your relationship. Mr. Sullivan and I are opposites, with me being the stronger-willed of the two of us. But he tempers me and my disposition. That is why we are still together after 36 years... Life sure is interesting around here! LOL Thanks for coming by for a visit. hugs, Sue

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  7. Hi Lou Cinda :)

    You ramble beautifully! What a wonderful story. I'm so glad you found each other :)

    xo,
    rue

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  8. Wished you and I lived closer you have no idea how much we have in common ;0)
    "God blessed the broken road"
    Congratulations on your 4th! Many more to you and your sweetie!
    Sherrie

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  9. Dear heart,you are so brave. This post is exactly why I was drawn to you from the beginning. Spunky and sweet, that's you. When I was feeling unsure of sharing so much of myself on my blog, you were there to encourage me not be ashamed of my fires and I take great comfort in knowing that we both have made it through the flames. My heartfelt congratulations on your fourth Anniversary!

    XOSue

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  10. Awesome, Lou Cinda! I really, really loved reading this, and I'm so happy that the man of your dreams walked through that door for you and the boys! And he's a mighty blessed fellow, too, to have a wife who has this kind of heart! This is a beautiful testimony, and I am thankful to have read it.

    Love to you, sweet girl!

    XO,

    Sheila :-)

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  11. Hi Lou Cinda...

    Just read the sweet note that you left for me on my Christmas dishes...I'm so glad that you came by and thank you for the sweet comments!

    Darlin'...what a wonderful testimony that you have!!! I'm so sorry for all that you went through with your previous relationships but it's so true...until you've experienced the hard times..it's so easy to take for granted the good things!!! I have a similar story and can definitely relate to what you've gone through! This is my second marriage and God has sent me the most wonderful man ever!!! He's everything that I could have drempt of and more!!! I guess we are what you call the "fire walkers", my friend!!! I often think about the scripture that talks about God trying all of our works in the fire...so that the only thing that comes shining through is purified!!! Thank you so much for sharing you and your story with us...it was such a blessing!!!

    I'm so happy that you have found true happiness and love!!! Lord Bless you and your family, my friend!!!

    Chari

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  12. Hi Lou Cinda! I am so happy that you finally found your prince charming. I too married a Steve, (for me the second time around) And he is also a black and white kind of guy with a wonderfully calm demeanor. They say we find our soulmates when we aren't looking for them. I guess that is exactly what happened to you. Thanks so much for coming over and visiting me, for your sweet comments, and for becoming a follower. I look forward to becoming great blog friends!

    Karen
    My Desert Cottage

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  13. Lou Cinda,
    What an inspiring person you are and I am so happy for you...your Steve sounds like he was sent from above just for you and your boys...I'm sure he feels that you were sent to him also...

    God bless...Betty @ Country Charm

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  14. Oh, Lou Cinda! Thank you for sharing your heart! I'm so sorry for all the pain and hurt you've been through. But as you said, God had the perfect one for you! I'm very proud for you, Dear One!
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

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  15. Thank you Lou Cinda for sharing- We are all so human and fragile. I am so thankful how God can make everything whether bad marriages or snakebites turn into a wonderful testimony of His Grace, Mercy and faithfulness.

    He whole purpose for our lives in to conform into the likeness of Christ and it's "life" He uses to do that.

    Thank you so very much for your concern and prayers during my hard time lately! You're a sweetie!

    blessings
    mary

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  16. You have a true love story. You two were always meant to be, but you just didn't connect at the right time. God made sure you finally got to meet. It was all about timing and the time was right. You are truly blessed!

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  17. Lou Cinda,

    Beautiful story! Sounds like you found your soul mate.

    Thanks so much for your visit to my blog.

    Peace~
    Lisa

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  18. Lou Cinda, thanks for sharing your personal story!! I am so glad that you recognized the goodness in Steve AND that you knew you deserved him. :)

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  19. Such a powerful post this is. Thanks for sharing and reminding us that each day IS a gift. You truly have had more than your share of heartache. I'm so glad God brought Steve into your life and that you are now happy. :) :)

    Thanks for stopping by today. You should charge your exterminator for the fruit fly potion! lol! Let it sit for a couple of days and you will see the dead ones floating. It's gross, but a great feeling to see them all gathered in the potion!

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  20. Lou Cinda,

    Sorry this is off topic. Do you have the web site for the twice as nice vinyl business. I couldn't find it.


    Thanks!

    Kari

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  21. Wow! What a touching story with a beautiful ending. It took courage to share, and I am greatful.
    Blessings, sweetie!

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  22. This story touched my heart. How wonderful that we serve a God of 2nd (& more) chances!! Thank you for stopping by my blog today and leaving such a sweet comment. I so appreciate it!! Blessings!

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