Now all of us women….at some point in our lives….sooner or later….will have….”the” menopause…well, I am so sad to say that that time for me….is now….it is upon me! The night sweats, the hot flashes, insomnia…all of that I can pretty much handle….what I have had the biggest problem with is….the MOOD SWINGS!! LORD HAVE MERCY people!! My emotions are ALL OVER the flippin map! There is no rhyme or reason for it…..I NEED a reason for it…but, alas, there is none!
I will go from happy go lucky….to a hot mess of tears in the blink of an eye…or even WORSE….I will be madder than a wet hen…I ain’t EVEN lyin’…I HATE this!
Case in point…
My girlfriend Jamie and I left Saturday morning and went shopping in search of fabric, and various other treasures…and I was unable to accomplish all of the “chores” that I do every Saturday…..On my way home, some 4 hours later, I called the hubster, a/k/a Steve, and said, “did you get anything done around there today?”…I could hear the apprehension in his voice…because these days he never knows what will either (a) send me into a fit of tears or (b) make me livid….he said, “well…no… I didn’t know you wanted me to do anything…..” (insert eye roll here) so, I just said… “ whatever”….yeah, he hates when I say that.
When I got home I could tell that he had literally hurled himself off the couch and ran, at breakneck speed, to the bedroom wherein, he “attempted” to make the bed….honestly, I wish I had taken a photo of that….looked like he had made it with his feet! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT!!! I said nothing…I am maintaining control….I just redid the bed and then…
I dusted, vacuumed, swept, threw a load of clothes in the wash, cleaned up the kitchen, loaded the dishwasher, cleaned both bathrooms AND blew off the sidewalk and driveway…..every time I walked past the den where Steve was sitting watching FOOTBALL I would just pause and “look” :| at him….I’m telling you the look on his face is just priceless….he is nervous…
Okay, so I did good, held it together, did not launch into a tirade about everyone should be pitching in and I do MORE than my fair share, and I am not a maid….yadda yadda yadda…did not do any of that…no I did not….
Fast forward to Sunday….we went to church…emotions still in tact….doing good….after church we come home and I cleaned out all the bottom cabinets in my kitchen….I don’t know why….it’s a sickness…then I decided to make stuffed bell peppers for supper….I LOVE them….my mother used to make them for me…but they do require some prep work, they are not a one pot dinner….so I am saute’ing hamburger and garlic and chopping onions and cooking the rice and adding this and that and coring the peppers and then I parboil them for 3 minutes so they will be soft….take them out of boiling water….drain….stuff them with deliciousness and bake them for 30 minutes….smells divine….I am so excited….
I tell Steve dinner is ready….he comes in the kitchen….gets a plate….takes one of my beloved stuffed peppers and…
are you ready for it…
DUMPS the stuffing out on his plate and throws the bell pepper….IN THE TRASH CAN!
SERIOUSLY????? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? The bell pepper that I had cut and cored and boiled and hovered over and stuffed…..yeah those!
I look at him and say, very calmly, “did you just throw that bell pepper in the trash?” The “look” comes over his face again….”did you want it?” he says….. ”I don’t like bell peppers.” LORD.HAVE.MERCY!! How in the World did I end up with a picky eater????
Well, folks, that was it…..the straw that broke this proverbial camel’s back………the hormones unleashed and I launched into one of my world famous TIRADES!!! SHUT.UP!! I did!! And then burst into tears because seriously….I do not know who this woman is that is dwelling within the confines of my body….”The Menopause” is kicking my ARSE!
My GYN told me last month that it lasts for ten years…….TEN…YEARS…….Isn’t.that.Special?
All I can say is….the men in my household better don some armor because….this is going to be a LONG ten years!
Just Sayin’