Do you ever feel a little “slighted” when you visit certain blogs over and over, and they are the bigger ones, and you always leave a comment or sometimes ask a question and NEVER get a response? Does that happen to anyone else? I mean some of the MEGA bloggers with over a 1,000 followers, I can understand….but there are those that you just wonder….WHAT IS THE DEAL?? I mean I ALWAYS try to answer comments that are left for me and I appreciate them so much….and I do realize that it’s not like I get a 100 a day or anything….but you know if I WAS a mega blogger, I think that if someone faithfully left me a comment often, I would notice, and mix it up a bit and send one back every once in a while! Just to say thanks, or I got the wreath at so and so…you know something simple…a one liner…I ain’t picky! Am I being petty? I don’t mean to be….just fussin’ and venting just a tad….
On another note…..I miss my mom….I miss her alot….the holidays are coming and it has never been the same since she passed away 5 years ago….she was SO talented….She painted this…
from this….
I think it is amazing…..this picture hangs in Cameron’s room…
My mother was hilarious and so much fun….she would just fuss me out about something and I would say, “why are you fussing at me for?” She would reply, “Cos’ you always fuss at the one you love the most.” To which I would say, “Well, could you love me a little less?” She always thought that was so funny….
I love you mom….to the moon and back…a million times….
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Lou Cinda, you are so sweet to leave me comments, I so appreciate it. I have a handful of faithful bloggy friends that leave me comments and I hope they understand what that means to me. Your mom was very talented and sounds like she was a lot of fun. you have many ahppy memories of her I can tell. I am sorry that you are missing her, it reminds me to cherish every moment with my mom and dad. Hugs, Marla
ReplyDeleteIt all falls back to gratitude; thankful for each one of those faces in that little thumbnail. Each one have a story, just as you have shared yours today; you are hurting from the loss of someone who sounds so dear and precious. I pause and look at those few thumbnails on my home page and am humbled, for some reason they have chosen to follow. Now I have a responsibility on my shoulder, as to what I share as well as to those I have clicked and begin following. I am to be an encourager to them. Thinking of you as the next weeks and months are celebrated without someone you love dearly.
ReplyDeleteWell, I think I may be guilty of not always answering or acknowledging every comment. I do try to always visit and comment on every one of the people that participate in one of my linky parties, and I really do try to answer any questions that someone asks. I am not a Mega blogger, and I do really appreciate all of my followers and all of the comments that are left for me. Sometimes real life just gets in the way. If I have not acknowledged you, I sincerely do apologize.
ReplyDeleteYour mom was so very talented, and I do understand how much you miss her. I miss mine too. Seems the holidays are always the worst. I am just so grateful for all the wonderful memories.
Hugs, Marty
You're going to make me cry, Lou Cinda! I think I am having a hormonal day today {are you?} and a reprimand from one of the partners didn't help. Reading about your Mom made me tear up - again. I'll bet it is hard, but when you remember those times like the one you've mentioned, doesn't it bring a smile to your face.
ReplyDeleteWhy yes Lou Cinda, it does aggrevate me. And when you send that person an e-mail about something specific, but no reply. But yet, a day later, you look at another blog that gushes about how this person has just helped them with something in depth and multiple times, blah, blah, blah..Only to realize that I know the difference between the one helped and me... I am too strong of a person, and the "helper" knows it, they can't feed their ego off me, and odds are, I don't mind telling them to kiss my behind.. So good for you babe, strong woman that you are, this is JMO by the way. Love your mom's painting. Hugs to you:)
ReplyDeletewell this has been on my mind exactly today!
ReplyDeletewhere's the agree button?
I miss my funny daddy. Your mom was a good painter :)
Hi Lou Cinda:
ReplyDeleteYes yes and yes, I get a little miffed too. I realize that some women dont have times to check all their emails ( I am guilty of that at times) but as the old saying goes, "better late than never". I know how you feel missing your mom. I lost my dad in 2008 & it seems like it gets harder as time goes by, keep smiling for her, you are so special.
Smiles & hugs,
Debbie Kay
Lou Cinda- Sometimes, a blogger puts on such a persona to those she wants to impress that she actually starts believing all of the hype, herself!! I know of someone whose followers consider as the "real deal" and the "most genuine of people." When in fact, this person just wants to be thought of in this manner because she is a very insecure person. She replies primarily to the "big blog" crowd because of the exposure and the fact that she thinks it makes her look good. She has so many people duped because she claims that "because of an extremely busy family life and other obligations," she could never possibly answer any comments- she just doesn't have time.....
ReplyDeleteYet, there she is- turning up to comment on the "mega" blogs, but never bothering to return a comment or answer a question posed by the "little" blogger.
Such insecurities totally turn me off! So, NO,your are not being touchy when you say this bothers you!!
I do understand that the time factor involved trying to answer every comment every single day would be enormous if you received hundreds of comments on a post- especially if you posted daily or multiple times a week. But, for Pete's sake, that person should at least acknowledge the person who repeatedly leaves comments. If this was an issue I kept encountering, I'd just stop visiting or commenting. Why contribute to the number of comments she receives or the number of hits she receives on her stats counter? Obviously, this is all she cares about. Numbers and exposure! In the words of General McArthur- " NUTS!"
FYI- I personally have not been slighted by the person I wrote about, but know of others who have been. Some of these girls continue to leave comments, hoping and praying for a return visit. And some have stopped following her because they've figured out that she just doesn't quite live up to the persona she tries to portray to the blogging world. You do what ya gotta do, I say... But I would never want to be a glutton for punishment!
Your mom was quite talented. So glad you have something of hers to keep. I've resigned myself to the fact that most people who visit my blog don't comment. I do visit some of the mega blogs, but I really don't expect a return comment (how would they ever find the time), so I usually don't comment on them.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first found out about memes, I tried to do them all. Got to be overwhelming, so now I just do one if a post I already have in mind fits in. I mean, frankly, there's just so much pink, and I certainly don't have time to do a tablescape every week.
Hi Lou Cinda,
ReplyDeleteI know EXACTLY what you're talking it about. It hurts your feelings doesn't it? I try to always answer my comments. I think it's very important. They took the time to visit and leave a comment, I can take the time to respond and show some gratitude!
My Mom passed away this year, July 13th, and I am not looking forward to the holidays this year. It is a blessing that she isn't suffering anymore but it is still a void there for us. I'm sorry you lost your Mama too. But we can be thankful that we have the memories. Which we should probably write down if we haven't yet. Your Mom was a talented artist and isn't it nice you have these keepsakes to look at, and be reminded of her as well.
I hope you have a great rest of the day.
Blessings,
Sonya
Lou Cinda, I'm so sorry you miss your mother. I know exactly how you feel because I miss mine, too, and my father and grandmother. I never spent a Christmas apart from them my whole life until my mother died. Then I couldn't bear to go home again for holidays. So we have carved out our own celebrations with close friends who are like family and with family when they can be with us. It works well for all of us. :-)
ReplyDeleteAs to the other, I think we can't help but notice when we repeatedly leave messages for people, and they ignore us. Or when we feel used in what appears to be someone's effort to up their quota of followers at friendship's expense.
I've been asked this question before, and here is my rule of thumb:
I try my very best to visit everyone who visits me, and if they visit me on a meme, then I have either visited them before or after their visit. But I like to respond to people who are kind enough to come over and leave a comment for me. I read and appreciate each and every one. Yes, it takes time out of my day to comment to everyone, but when I am on online, I make the time to visit them. I might mistakenly miss someone, but I try hard not to do that. If it's unavoidable, I will say so in my post.
Now, there are exceptions to this rule (for reasons I won't bore you with here). But if I feel like a relationship is over, I don't argue with the person. I simply pack my suitcase and move to the other side of the universe. ;-)
I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I hate confrontations. If I confront someone, it's usually to save a relationship, to try and mend something I don't see as working BEFORE it gets to critical mass. If that overture is ignored or not respected or spurned and once I hit critical mass, then I have a tendency to quietly leave the scene and burn the bridge behind me. Can it be fixed? Maybe. I guess it depends on the other person.
I try and cut people a lot of slack and am generally very patient, but there are things that do bother me. I think we all have those buttons. For the most part, though, I just live and let live with blogging. Some people have more time than others. And some of us are busy, but make time. Generally, when someone is having a time issue, they let you know they are in school and studying, going through a health or family crisis, need a blog break, or are locked away on a work project that demands all of their time. And as far as the super bloggers, I might leave a comment or not, but I don't expect them to answer me in return. I go in with that expectation, and then I can read their blog or not and leave a comment or not.
I also try to answer people on their blogs and not through emails (because my email isn't connected for some reason, and I'm too technologically challenged to fix it... plus I think people like to get comments on their blogs!), unless it's very private. Then I get off my blog, go to email, log on and answer. Now don't go thinking I don't love your emails because I do! I love them! And I hope you love mine! ;-)
That's my two cents! You asked, LOL!
Love your blog and love you, too...
XO,
Sheila :-)
Okay, that looks like a dissertation! LOL! SORRY!!!
ReplyDeleteWow! I have felt the same way. I have a small blog and not many followers. I don't blog much about my home because it is just very simple but I do like to paint and share some of the things I have done. Not for compliments but because it is something I love to do, much like the decorator shows off her rooms. But I follow a lot of blogs and I try to leave comments but I don't usually hear back from a lot of them. There are some who are so sweet and comment back even just to say thank you. I appreciate that.
ReplyDeleteThis is how I feel. If I follow you I consider myself a blog friend. If I do not hear from you or you decide not to follow me that is ok, but more than likely I won't let it be one sided for too long. I did the same on Facebook, I was friends with a lot of the "Big Brushes" (ones that are very well known in the painting world). But I commented on the things they were doing and they would answer but rarely did any of them comment on anything I had done - so - off with their heads - actually I just deleted them and they probably did not even notice.
Sorry for so long but I think the subject touched a nerve. Your mom was a beautiful painter, I still miss mine even after ten years.
Brenda
Hi Sweet Girl!
ReplyDeleteI always try to visit everyone that has visited me and commented and at least send a quick note via email or on their Blog. That is something that is important to me. I am definitely not a Mega Blogger but I really appreciate the lovely ones that follow my Blog and also the "lurkers"...ones that read but don't comment...I love all of them. I have really formed some wonderful friendships through Blogging. There is always something new to learn and where can you get this much inspiration and entertainment for free!!
Your mother was extremely talented. I miss mine too. She had a stroke 4 years ago and now can't speak and she doesn't even know who I am and it's so sad. We will just have to lift each other up throughout the holidays. You can count on me!
Love,
LuLu~*xoxo
I try to answer as many questions and comments as possible, but quite honestly, I do miss a few every now and then when life gets in the way, darn it!
ReplyDeleteI do read every comment and I have often visited certain blogs many times without ever receiving an acknowledgement that I exsist, but I'm sure they are just too busy to respond.
I think you Mom was really talented. I miss my Mom too, so I know just how you feel. I don't think it will ever go away.
hugs
sissie
Lou Cinda,
ReplyDeleteYou know when you ask me for my opinion, what a can of worms that can open, doncha?
I'm by no means a McBlogger, but I am proud of the folks who drop by to visit and "get" me. I try and leave comments with everyone I can. I remember when I first started blogging and hoping and praying for a comment. It's validation and sadly...I need that...plus I love company! I think the McBlogs have forgotten who brung 'em to the dance. It seems it's more important to have their names appear on other big blogs...kinda running with the pack...ya know? (Does it remind you of high school and sitting at the popular clique's table at lunch?) In all fairness, some of the major bloggers truly are that busy and don't leave comments anywhere-(I've noticed). Some are doing it strictly for business...some with the hope of being "discovered". In those cases, I think it would be kinder to just disable "comments". My take is if we're gonna be open for comments, then it's just good manners to reciprocate as much as possible...but I'm from the South you know!
It is time consuming, but if we're taking the time to read the comments why not go one more step and acknowledge them. OK...that's my two cents....spend it slowly!
I needed to write all that first otherwise there would be tear stains all over this comment. I lost my mother 12 years ago and there isn't a day that goes by I don't reach for the phone to call her. My heart's longing is your heart's longing. Yes...a million times and then a million more.
Love ya darlin',
Debbie
P.S. I love reading your comments. They always brighten my day...and your posts always give me a smile and a laugh! If I haven't said it before...Thank YOU!
You read my mind. I was just thinking the same thing this week. What's worse is when someone acknowledges you once and then you never hear from them again. Life does get busy for all of us so I don't really expect a response every time but an occasional visit is nice. I just try to live by the golden rule. And thank you for always being so kind to come comment on my blog. I really do appreciate it. Makes my day.
ReplyDeleteYour mom was an incredible artist. So sorry for your loss. If she "fussed" at you that much, I imagine she put a lot in you to carry on. Moms can never be replaced but she lives on through you. Hugs, Tammy
Hi Lou Cinda....I hope I have never done that to you and if I did it was not done on purpose. I think life just gets to busy and blogging can become overwhelming sometimes. I lost my mom 5 years ago last week. She was not a painter but she loved to sketch characters and people's portraits. She would have been 94 on Sunday. I don't think you ever get over missing your parents...some days it is even harder now than when it first happened. ~xoxo, Patti
ReplyDeleteLou Cinda, don't feel bad, it is really hard o keep up with everything, I am sure people don't mean to be mean. I try my best to respond to everyone that comments.....I sometimes work twelve hour days and still have a home to run, it's just hard. There are some bloggers out there that seem to have thousands of followers, I have left comment after comment, but never get a reply...once I had a snooty reply from a famous blog...
ReplyDeleteI miss my Mom and my sister too, they always inspired me...it will be almost ten years.....I feel for you Honey!
On a happy note, you can start unpacking your Christmas goodies soon!!!! I hope to have another giveaway with a different Santa this year!!
Hugs,
Margaret B
Came over from Jodie's Everything Vintage blog to meet another RED, sugar! Nice to meet you.
ReplyDeleteI understand about the blogging thing. I've posted a few posts about what blogging means to me and like you a lot of those "big popular" bloggers never respond to me. Rude to say the least but I love blogging so I'll slug along.
Keep it up, sweetpea, your blog is darling!!!
xoxo,
Connie
Hi Lou Cinda sweetie! I know what you mean- but I try to visit as many blogs as I can also, but never enough time so I feel I must give that pass to others as well...only fair:)
ReplyDeleteYour mom was talented, how nice you have her art and that you display it so proudly. I lost my mom 10 years ago and still feel that loss alot...although, around the holidays I try to embrace the precious memories more and not the loss so much. It keeps me smiling, which is what I know she'd want:)
Love & hugs!
paula:)
When I first came onto the blog scene a few years ago one thing I remember reading about was blog comment etiquette. I have tried to follow it but sometimes I fall short. And your mother was very talented. I know how you feel about missing her. I am missing my grandmothers. I was very close to both of them. Keep those precious memories close. They will inspire you to do great things!!
ReplyDeleteMuch love and hugs!!!!!
The painting is really good...it shows what a great talent your mom was. I miss my mom so much...it was 9 years ago last month that I lost her. I never gets easier.
ReplyDeleteYou hit on a sharp note with me, too about the bloggers that never respond in spite of multiple comments. You know what has really been on my mind {and not in a good way}, there is a new blogger that I came across that is from my state, so it was cool to visit her. Not only does she not visit back, I see her all over the place at blogs that are similar to hers {I call the the White Crowd...they only decorate in white and white is usually part of their blog name}, so it's obvious she has no time for a blog like mine, not even a hello or thanks. And she is NEW!!
Like most of the ladies that responded to your post, I always go back to visit someone who has commented the first time on my blog, I know they want to be acknowledged and they deserve it. I also follow way too many people and try to leave nice comments. Someday I might get busier and won't be able to leave everyone a comment, but I think I have been a good enough friend that I won't be scorned.
XO,
Jane
Oh dear I hope I am not guilty. I always try to answer each and every comment.
ReplyDeleteOn each post I generously recieve approx. 20-30 comments and 10-15 emails. I have to fit blogging in between going to school, raising my family with jobs as the maid, cook, gardner, nanny and have just started a second business.
There are never enough hours in the day. :)
Oh Lou Cinda, your mother was so talented. That painting is incredible! The holidays always make me think of loved ones who aren't here any longer, so I know how you feel.
ReplyDeleteOn the topic of blog comments: I only visit blogs of those who have left me comments. I just don't have time to visit other blogs. I am so fortunate that I enjoy the blogs of all of those who leave me comments. laurie
You touched on a sore spot I guess. I shy away from mega blogs they have so many ads etc. I just recently found out that some of my replys to comments went into my spam which I never check. I feel so bad about it because I want to respond to each person, they took the time to visit and leave the comment. This will be my second christmas with out my mom. My daughter is going to have a baby in December it would have been her first great grand child. I just want one more day. but while it is not easy life goes on and she would want it that way.
ReplyDeleteYou have your mother's amazing painting how wonderful.
Cathy
Gosh, Lou Cinda, first you are making me cry. I know it has to be a lot harder around the holidays missing your mom. Second, I hope I am not one of those. I do my best to answer questions right back. I like to answer back by email, but if it has no reply comment then I can't and then I will leave the answer in my comments or go to the person's blog and leave the answer. I don't even leave comments on the super mega blogs because I have learned they don't comment back anymore. It is getting harder with just the few I have. I could spend 24 hours a day on here and not keep up with every comment and every blog on my blog roll and then I feel guilty. I have learned we can't totally keep up and have just had to let the guilt go.
ReplyDeleteAs someone with only two followers, one of whom is a very close personal friend, I can speak to the commenting dilemma.
ReplyDeleteI remember reading somewhere about 'blog etiquette'. That if someone posts to your blog you should always respond in some fashion. I don't know how true this is, but it certainly would be nice.
I realize that the bigger blogs, with tons of comments probably just can't respond to each and every one.
I'm really trying to hone in on those blogs that aren't 'super' yet. There are a lot out there and they are wonderful.
I still go and read some of the 'super' blogs. Usually, I just do so without commenting. And I don't follow them.
I leave lots and lots of comments around, though and can share your disappointment with not receiving any response.
I can understand how you could miss your om so much. My mom is 92 and I keep praying that God would not take her yet. Your mom was a very talented painter. I am glad she left you some of her works. I feel the same way about other bloggers...Christine
ReplyDeleteOh Lou Cinda I miss my Mom too! Reading about your Mom made me cry for mine. She passed away in March of this year. Our family has managed to survive the celebration of her Birthday, Mother's Day, and Easter but not without tears being shed. I'm not looking forward to the upcoming holidays especially Christmas because that was her favorite.
ReplyDeleteYour Mom was a very talented painter. Having something she painted is a gift to treasure forever.
And yes I feel slighted too and I feel just like ever blogger that has commented here!
Blessings my friend,
Gail
I'm pretty new at this bloggy thing and don't know all the rules yet...I always go to each of the sites of the people who leave a comment...I always leave them a comment too...I haven't quite figured out how to e-mail them back with the comments on it like I get sometimes. I understand how you get frustrated because I go on a lot of sites and leave a comment and some never respond...so I have decided I just won't go there any more or leave them comments. I have amet a lot of wonderful people and seem to have a small circle of people who visit me all the time and likewise I go to their sites...I find this a lot of fun and helpful too...I find menus and recipes and gardening and sewing advice...even gift ideas...there are a lot of wonderful people out there. Your Mom was very talented...I really admire anyone who can draw and paint...I can't! But then I stop and realize that I have gifts others don't...it all evens out! I like you site a lot and I will be back...oh by the way...thanks for visiting me! It means a lot!!
ReplyDeleteI have tried really hard to answer peoples comments or return a comment, but sometimes there are a few that slip through and I don't get back to them! Actually that's why I'm here right now, cause you left me a sweet comment today!
ReplyDeleteOf course I'm by no means a mega blogger, I actually have to work and I don't always have time to sit down and play on the computer! I do like blogging and look forward to it every time I get a chance!
I't ok to vent, we all have to do it sometimes!
Sorry your missing your mom so much!
Theresa
aka:TOT
I'm so sorry about your mom. I lost my house 2 months ago and moved in with mine, so I'm extremely fortunate. Plus, we're just the best of friends. Although I can't wait to get my own place again!
ReplyDeleteAnd, yes, I know what you mean about the 'big' bloggers. They got 'big' because of people like you and me. I do understand they can't answer every comment, but, c'mon - just a little interaction here and there would be nice - even if it's on Facebook.
Last night I got a comment from someone and I thought it was a mistake, haha. I know she's not a Follower and couldn't figure it out - why she just happened along to my blog. Then I saw that my post showed up on FB right after she was on. Whatever works . . .
Hi!
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you are talking about with the 'no response' popular bloggers. They occasional put their "I have too many comments to respond" posts up and throw out a general thank you. I guess that's as much as we will ever get.
I miss my mom too. I always try to use some of her kitchen gadgets for the holiday cooking. Somehow, it makes me feel close to her.
Rhonda
Let me just say - I am still baffled as to why some blogs have thousands of followers and others have only a few. There is one very, very popular blog I visit often just to laugh at the videos :o) I won't give myself away but I feel you on this one! You always leave me sweet comments and I really appreciate it. Your Mom was very talented too. I think y'all had the same kind of relationship my Mom and I have.
ReplyDeleteHi Lou Cinda! Oh, your mom was so talented! I'm sorry you miss her so much but aren't you thankful you had such a wonderful relationship.
ReplyDeleteNow I'm with you about comments. I think just like you - the mega blogs get lots of comments but if you see the same person commenting over and over again you should comment back to them. I actually used to visit a blog that had so many followers and she said she was just going to quite commenting back. I thought that was rude. I don't go to her blog anymore. I do believe there are blog manners and some bloggers just don't have manners! :)
Be a sweetie,
Shelia ;)
Hi Lou Cinda,
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that we're never quite the same after our mothers are gone. The pain eases, but the feelings remain (and can come rushing back at unexpected times, prompted by a sight, a smell, a song, a flavor ... anything that make us think of them).
Your mother was obviously very talented (and very funny!). I guess you "come by it honest," as I used to hear folks say.
You certainly struck another emotional chord with your readers on the subject of comments/return visits. I think some people see blogging as purely for self-expression. Others view it as a social networking opportunity. A lot of the ones I consider professional bloggers use it as a tool to promote their products/careers. For many (myself included to a degree) it's a combination of all of that -- except for the career-boosting part of it.
It's disheartening that some of the people who seek friendship in Blogland reach out to the ones who are just using their blogs for self-promotion ... and end up being hurt. There have been times that I've been ignored and times when I've failed to respond to someone who deserved a response.
I don't have anything profound to say .. no solution to offer, but I'm glad you were honest enough to do a "little griping" and cause us to pause and reflect on the topic.
This is what I so admire about you - you say what the rest of us are thinking but are afraid to say, and you do it very well. The most comments I've had on a post was around 45 and I was totally overwhelmed with trying to personally reply to all of them, but I did my best. I can't imagine having hundreds of comments every day because I would have no life outside blogging and there would certainly be some that slipped through. My problem when I visit a new blog is that I get sidetracked reading old posts and either forget to leave a return comment or run out of time.
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying for you. It must be so hard this time of year without your mom.
Lou Cinda, great subject! I would love to see where the rules of commenting are posted! I did a post back on 9/26 about this same thing. I had been a follower of some blogs that I really liked, but when I would leave comment, after comment, after comment and be ignored, I took drastic actions by going to my dashboard, then to where it says manage (under the blogs you follow), clicked onto it, then clicked onto settings and finally clicked onto stop following this site. I may happen upon their site when I post to my usual one meme a week, but I don't leave a comment and no longer visit that person's blog on a regular basis.
ReplyDeleteI was commenting on everyone that posted to that meme, but have cut back to mostly the ones that reciprocate.
I do not feel that getting an e-mail in lieu of a comment is good blogging etiquette! I have been known to respond by reminding them to visit my blog and to please leave a comment so that I know they have been there.
I realize some of the mega blogger (anyone with 500 and over) couldn't possibly respond to all of the comments, but not every follower comments at the same time. I feel it is rude not to reciprocate...the followers are what has made their blog a success!
I hope your holidays are wonderful, think of all the memories of your mother and smile!
Well you are sure getting enough comments on this one!
ReplyDeleteI try to visit anyone who visits me. If they ask a question I email back, but a lot of them have a no reply as their address. More and more!
Also, if they have a word ID to leave a comment and it doesn't work the first time, I leave.
I wish everyone would disable that feature, it takes too much time, and blogger has a new spam filter that works well!
I think we all miss our moms, but they are really always with us.
Her painting is beautiful!