I have dreaded this particular time in my life for 18 years…..Graduation…..
Cameron will graduate from high school on Mary 27th….and my heart is just so heavy….this year has been a year of “lasts”….
I am so happy for him as he looks to his future, but….yesterday…..
yesterday was his very last baseball game…..EVER…..
When I watched #21 jog out on the field for the last time…I thought my heart was breaking….
I tried so hard to hold it together during the game….I cheered real loud….
yelled at the umpires….
And I fought that lump in my throat like a tiger…..
I tried to tell myself that nothing was changing….that everything would be the same….
But….I know better….
After the game as the other mothers, my girlfriends and soul-mates, that have been together cheering for our boys since they were 5 years old….stood up and looked at each other…and just lost it!
What will we do now?
We tried to pull it together once again before the guys came out of the fieldhouse so we wouldn’t look like total hot messes….
When Cameron walked out….he was crying….and then it was just over for me…he ran to me and hugged me and we both just sobbed….I mean, I have kissed boo boos and held hands and wiped noses and tears, and listened to hopes and dreams and funny stories, and fussed and prayed and said be careful and I love you a trillion times…
Cameron and Dakota….buds since they were 3 years old…played ball together since they were 5….
Their faces say it all…..
so many memories, so many laughs….
Since Cameron was a little boy he always cries….if I cry….still does….
He has such a tender heart….and he is very sensitive…everybody doesn’t know that….
But I do….
So as he goes forward…..into this big ole’ world that I have tried my best to prepare him for, for 18 years, while at the same time protecting him from it…..I will watch and pray….and hang on to his leg with everything I have….cos’ that’s just how I roll…
I love you my Sweet Cammie Pie….to the moon and back….a million trillion times…I am so proud of you….
and…I will always be here….
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Here, take this tissue. Your eye makeup is getting all over the place. Well, now we're all crying, Lou Cinda! Making me tear up at the day job {you know I can't let the lawyers see any weakness!} . . . I so know what you are going through. My son's senior year I made sure I went to everything - last concert, last award ceremony, last football game, and I had to fight that lump in my throat every time. Of course, it didn't help to have the principal tell a mother/son story at one of these things. I almost had to leave the auditorium.
ReplyDeleteOf course, he is going to college and living at home so I do see him {when he graces us with his presence}, but I know what you mean. Thankfully, they love us back! Just the other night my son said, "Come here, give me a hug". Cyberhug for you, Lou Cinda!
Bittersweet is the right word. I cried when I graduated...I cried when my oldest melonhead did...I cried with my baby girl...and now I'm crying with you. We are so proud of them and their accomplishment, but it is just so doggone hard to let go and admit they are now adults. Puppies and children...why can't they stay little forever?
ReplyDeleteDebbie
You are such a great Mom. Hands down.
ReplyDeleteLove,
LuLu~*xoxo
I got all teary just reading this post because I can so relate. Alex graduated last year and has been away now for a year but I remember this time last year wondering what I was going to do when he left for college.
ReplyDeleteThis was a very sweet post and really shows the love between you and your son.
Jane
Lou Cinda, now you've gone and made us all break down!!! My heart hurts for you both.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet child. I love a man who isn't afraid to show some emotions.
I can tell you guys love each other fiercely and everything you taught your baby is going forward with him.
I will be thinking about ya during this emotional time.
Rhonda
Hi Lou Cinda! My heart is breaking for you. What a very touching post! You've raised Cameron and he sounds like such a wonderful young man. He'll do fine and you'll do fine. It's hard letting go! I know, I've done it two times.
ReplyDeleteSending you a big ole hug.
Blessings,
Shelia ;)
Oh Lou Cinda, this post touched my heart as it brought back memories for me. I know exactly how you are feeling but trust me it does get easier.
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful weekend,
Gail
Girl! I went through this 2 years ago! And my son moved to Texas! I miss him very much, but at the same time I want him to experience life and hopefully grow up soon! Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. I think he missed me to, but doesn't always admit it!
ReplyDeleteIt will get better with time!
Stay Strong
Tot
Lou Cinda you made me cry just reading this post. I remember Brian's last ball game like it was yesterday. I know that they have to grow up but in our eyes they will always be out little boys. I love the picture of the two of you hugging. So sweet!!!! You have done an amazing job with both your boys and you should be so proud of the young men that they have become.
ReplyDeleteHi Lou Cinda...Thanks for checking in with me. I know I have been bad at keeping up with my blog and getting around to others. I was kind of down after leaving my sister and spending time with her just hanging out. Also the weather in Ohio has been making it almost impossible to get out into my garage to do some painting. I got a little sanding done a few days ago but the weather turned damp and cool again and I also had a lot of yard clean up to do while the weather was decent. Hopefully, I will have something soon to blog about! I just read your post and I have been where you have been. I know it is sad but now instead of endings you will have new beginnings with him as he goes out into the world. It sounds like you have a very special mother and son relationship! Something to always treasure! Have a great Easter holiday!~Hugs, Patti
ReplyDeleteAwww Lou Cinda!! This post made ME cry!!!
ReplyDeleteI can so relate! I dread the day my Doodle is moving on to begin her own life. :(
It sounds like you are extremely close. So, just because he's beginning a new chapter doesn't mean he's leaving you. You'll just have other things to cheer on now. Hang in there!
Ok now I am crying. That is such a sweet post. You have done such a great job raising him. You are a great mother. He knows this too. But guess what, you still get to cheer him on, in life and maybe, just maybe even a little college baseball. =) (((HUGS))) my sweet friends.
ReplyDeleteOh girlfriend you're making me cry!! I know it will never be quite the same again.....but there WILL be all kinds of new GREATS! Just you wait and see! *winks* Vanna
ReplyDeleteYou are an awesome mom. I got a lump in my throat myself. I hope wonderful things are in store.
ReplyDeleteAwww, now I am crying, he is such a sweet doll, don't tell him I said that......oh how precious! It is the toughest time for them and for Mom too!!!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Margaret B
Oh man, I've got 5 years before my oldest graduates, but I get teary-eyed just thinking about it!
ReplyDeleteGood luck to you and your boy in this new and exciting stage of life!
Lou Cinda, I have tears in my eyes. What a good looking young man he is, and the fact that he's so sensitive really makes him a lady killer! This brought back so many memories for me. My son's last baseball game (from t-ball on) was 12 years ago, but I still remember the lost feelings of what am I going to do now. No more running him to practice and yelling for him at games. Will I ever see these other mother's again? I am soooo glad that he participated in baseball. I really feel that it prepared him for a lot of life's bumps and mountains in the road. You can be so proud of your son, and wherever he goes, I'm sure you'll be in his heart. laurie
ReplyDeleteWhat a tender, priceless moment you have shared. Having two girls marry, I know how hard it is to have the world change with their flying the nest.
ReplyDeleteThis really does bring tears to my eyes and brings back lots of memories. Have a wonderful Easter, xoxo Debra
You're just the sweetest thing. He is too. My baby will be 18 in 5 months, I can hardly believe it either. I can see you... in him...
ReplyDeleteokay, now I can't even write...
why you do that to me??
love from Ga,
T
My dear LouCinda....
ReplyDeleteOh dear.........my heart just breaks for you. I sooooo understand. We love them soooo much and like you say....prepare them for what's ahead.... but they're still our BABIES! Does that ever change??? My daughter and I are soooo close and I still can't bear it if she's upset. But, just remember, you've done a great job raising a VERY handsome young man with a tender heart......what could be better... And, boys ALWAYS love their Mama. :-)
Sending you huge hugs and wishes for a Blessed Easter....
xoxoxo
Spencer
You've got me crying here! But you are so lucky, and blessed to have such a wonderful son, and have had such a great time all those years of baseball games and watching him grow into such a smart, handsome young man! He has a great future ahead of him and he Will play baseball again, either on a church team, or maybe he'll coach little-leaguers, and play with his own kids one day, (and that, my dear,is another whole amazing chapter of life for you,--someday,the unbelievable joy of grandparenting).
ReplyDeleteAnyway, you brought back many memories, of my kid's graduations, proms, and the like! Enjoy this beautiful time of family celebration, of youth well spent, of making memories, of success, and of sharing exciting plans for the future! Congratulations to Cameron, and to you and Dad. God bless all of you!
Oh Lou Cinda, you just made me cry too. I remember when all my 3 kids went to College too but you know they will always be back so don't be sad, ok? Thanks to your bday greetings for my daughter....Christine
ReplyDeleteAww. Time goes by sooo fast, doesn't it? Especially, watching our kids grow up.
ReplyDeleteIt will be a comfort for you, you know, to watch him as he goes through the rest of his life. You'll see what an outstanding job you guys did raising him, and what a great man he will be.
(hugs)
Donna
That is such a sweet post. I had my youngest play his last football game as Captain of his team...two years later he is in college and doing so well! It is truly bittersweet, but he is always making me proud, as Cam will you.
ReplyDeleteYou have so many loving words here for you LouCinda.. So many angel ladies wishing you well. Amazing and well deserved. xo.
ReplyDeletexox Jeanne at Bees Knees Bungalow.
Aww, sweet post! Congrats to your son, I'm sure there will be lots of fun memories in the future too.
ReplyDeleteThanks for always leaving me such great comments! I'm doing really well & glad to be back in ATL.
Aw, Lou Cinda, I don't know how I missed this! Yes yes yes, that last HS ball game was a killer for me too last year. T's playing in junior college, though, so I guess the heartbreak is deferred for another short while.
ReplyDeleteBe strong sista! It does get a little easier every day!
Boo Hoo....that was so sad. Lou Cinda....I can't even imagine how hard it is to watch them grow up yet heart filling at the same time to see what incredible young people they have become. He is so cute and I just know you were a great MOM....you will just have to shop and re-do your house more to stay busy :)
ReplyDeleteOh yeah...hope you weathered the storm OK last night.
ReplyDelete