Bittersweet…..

I have dreaded this particular time in my life for 18 years…..Graduation…..

Cameron will graduate from high school on Mary 27th….and my heart is just so heavy….this year has been a year of “lasts”….

I am so happy for him as he looks to his future, but….yesterday…..

yesterday was his very last baseball game…..EVER…..

When I watched #21 jog out on the field for the last time…I thought my heart was breaking….

I tried so hard to hold it together during the game….I cheered real loud….

yelled at the umpires….

And I fought that lump in my throat like a tiger…..

I tried to tell myself that nothing was changing….that everything would be the same….

But….I know better….

After the game as the other mothers, my girlfriends and soul-mates, that have been together cheering for our boys since they were 5 years old….stood up and looked at each other…and just lost it!

What will we do now?

We tried to pull it together once again before the guys came out of the fieldhouse so we wouldn’t look like total hot messes….

When Cameron walked out….he was crying….and then it was just over for me…he ran to me and hugged me and we both just sobbed….I mean, I have kissed boo boos and held hands and wiped noses and tears, and listened to hopes and dreams and funny stories, and fussed and prayed and said be careful and I love you a trillion times…

Cameron and Dakota….buds since they were 3 years old…played ball together since they were 5….

Their faces say it all…..

so many memories, so many laughs….

Since Cameron was a little boy he always cries….if I cry….still does….

He has such a tender heart….and he is very sensitive…everybody doesn’t know that….

But I do….

So as he goes forward…..into this big ole’ world that I have tried my best to prepare him for, for 18 years, while at the same time protecting him from it…..I will watch and pray….and hang on to his leg with everything I have….cos’ that’s just how I roll…

I love you my Sweet Cammie Pie….to the moon and back….a million trillion times…I am so proud of you….

and…I will always be here….